Day four and counting

I am in a state of shock just now. I've been shopping all day and spent a fortune on clothes/shoes including shoes with heels! I haven't worn heels for years! And you know, it feels great, I feel 10 feet tall (in 2 inch heels!!) LOL

I realized today how much I've let my self esteem, appearance wise, go and that's probably in line with my general self esteem slipping away. I have felt so dowdy for so long but just thought it was middle age. As I walked through the shopping mall I watched loads of other women my age, just oozing with confidence. Confidence isn't exclusive, I thought, I can have some too.

I didn't actually mean to spend so much but as it was all sale stuff I've got some good bargains, everything I got was 1/2 price. Never mind, its day 4 today and by this time on Friday I am normally well into a bottle of wine with another in the fridge. I'm determined this time though and while I feel I should have delayed gratification by treating myself in a few weeks, what the hell! If I keep on track, I reckon I will break even financially by the end of the month with what I save on wine, extra fags (and they're the next to go) and take aways bought as I couldn't face cooking. If it boosts my moral and keeps me sober, it'll be worth it! It felt great to pamper myself, I even took myself for lunch.

Since I got home I've been like a teenager, trying on clothes and lipstick etc. and haven't felt so good for ages. I hadn't realized how much I had neglected myself. So its a nice bath and a bit telly tonight and I should sleep as I've walked miles! I just heard a taxi beep outside, my neighbours off to the pub, who needs it!???