Day two - so far so good

I'm so overwhelmed with getting so many lovely, welcoming comments so soon after resurrecting my blog. I feel like the prodigal blogger! THANKYOU ALL! It really means a lot.

Well day two is almost closing. I didnt sleep well last night and was visited by all sorts of anxieties and fears in the wee hours but have felt much better today.

Yesterday I was winging it, today I put more thought into things, not too much though, I'm sort of living in the present, which can't be a bad thing. Kenny left a comment about turning the battle into surrender, I think there's a lot in that. Just now accepting the fact that I just cannot drink is a great relief, I just want to let go and see it as something positive, a battle feels too draining. Appreciate what I'm gaining and not feel I'm losing anything.

I have also realized that I've been feeling sorry for myself again. I suppose I'm lonely and that gets to me, but I have so much to be grateful for. Good job and kids, a lot more than many people. Self pity is one of my biggest faults and keeps me in this cycle when it starts. And the Christmas break is a killer time for me as I'm off work for 2 weeks and the break in routine kills me, my routine keeps me going and real a bit of a workaholic. Things I should plan for in future. Anyway, back to work in a day or so, so maybe thats lifting me, giving me a bit drive.

I also can feel what an immense depressive effect alcohol has on me. I can feel the cloud lift even after 2 days. Which is why I wonder why I insist on doing this to myself, it actually drains me, I can feel it sap my energy.

But tonight I'm not going to wonder too much. I hope to sleep better, I do feel really very tired.

Thanks again for calling in. I want to post regularly, I might do a weekly post looking back over my week. I think that might be useful but in the first few days I want to reflect daily.